12.15.2005
jux viewed quite alot of ppl's blog. everyone seemed stress up bout life, exams, activities. duno y. it seems lyk tym is running out. not enuff tym to use. don even haf tym to slp lorrs. can u believe it. but reali duno wad got into me man. aft CMB paper, i've been so slack. don haf e mood to study. n im hafing paper ltr. n here i am. bull shitting. slacking ard. argh!i wonder. ware has e past me gone to? ware is e ger dat came str home aft sch. bath. lock herself in her rm to get her work done b4 she do anything else. study for exams even whn it means she haf to miss slpless nites. ware is e ger w determination? w leadership qualities? w assurance frm frens? yes. those kind of life was toturous. but. at least i noe dat i've put in my best. my every effort in it. but now, i feel nth. life is jux a pain.
life's so meaningless tho its busy. everydae go sch study. nth much actuali happen. sometyms i wonder. am i fortunate or am i not?
fortunate. yest aft listening to yes 933 toking bout dat indonesian boy. he's 12. n he weighs oni 19kg. it reali pains me to look at e pic. wads more, dere's a 2kg tumor right at his neck. oh my. he's oreadi so skinny. poor boy. glad dat he's ok now aft e op. we r here enjoying life n dere it is. w so many unfortuate ppl lying ard which we don even noe. we wan to spend hapi tyms, so do dey. but who's going to help dem if we don?
unfortunate. comparing myself to my frens. i duno. mayb im jux to sensitive or mayb im selfish. things hasnt been going well fer me all along. finiancially support myself. ya. tho i've got bond. but other ppl r working n dey stil get $ frm their parents. as fer me, its e other way round. parents getting $ frm me. buying things whn she don haf e $ and saeing dat she buy fer me but stil ask me to return her dat sum of $. wads more. gotta pay my bro's sch fees for him. i don earn big bucks. i nid savings too dont i? hais. i duno. mayb dey mean well. mayb dey r reali at their wits end. mayb im thinking too much. mayb i reali am selfish. aft all they r my family. mayb im over sensitive. tis shouldnt be a issue im upset bout. ok. wadeva.
im sure im fortunate in some way. yes i am. stop thinking bout it. way to go veronica! life is too short to bear grudges.