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it makes me wonder.
nursing.
is dat wad i reali wan to b fer e rest of my life?

even if so.
am i fit to b one?

asked ms mary to sign my log book todae.
she was going thru e skills.
asking me bout e physical examnination thing.
all e theory stuffs.

60-70% of e medical terms dat she asked.
i culd not ans.
i felt so lousy.
wad haf i been doing all tis while?

i suck at all tis terminology.
im alreadi yr2.
but i feel dat i noe nth.

did my 1st oral med todae.
don even noe e abbreviation fer serving medications.
ya.
i noe.
its my 1st tym.

but its alreadi tot in e sch.
isnt it?
wad haf i been doing fer e past 1yr plus?

somehow i doubt.
doubt my ability.
in handling life n death.
am i up to it?

but i don haf a choice.
not one now.
not until 5yrs frm now.
cos im bonded.
yes.
BONDED.
3 bloody hell yrs of bonding.

perhaphs regretments is dere actuali such a word? sets in.

attachment was FREAKING HELL todae.

was lyk damn busy.
n i had to do each n every pt's parameter ALONE.

my neck is aching.
my back is aching.

had my 2nd jab of insulin.
given todae.
phews!

mr bed 5.
every mouth dat i fed him.
fears grow in me.

i was beaten by him.
nearly bitten by him.
it was darn scary.

i nid to b quick.
so dat he don bite e spoon.
so dat he don get a chance to hit me.

he agreed to cooperate.
not to hit.
not to bite.
aft e staff nurse spoke to him in tamil.

but he did not kept his agreement.
he even pinched e staff nurse lo.
how scary.

n e AN in my cubicle.
i don lyk her.
arghhh!!!

its lyk.
dere's hrly para.
n she sort of lyk scolded.
sae y we neva do n follow up.

HEY.
hello.
wad u take us as?
ur maids?

we r here to learn.
not to do parameters fer u all.
if i haf e tym.
yes.
i don mind.
but im alreadi so damn busy.

n i dunno ware e AN went.
n y aint she doing e parameter herself.
its lyk so ridiculous.

taking us fer granted.
n i don lyk.
w/o us dey oso haf to do it alone.
don dey?

1st dae morning in dat ward tml.
n i heard its super busy in all morning.
bless me ar.

7 more daes!!
of hafin to stand fer 8hrs.
of hafin to face all e nonsense.
of hell.
of torture.

gummies yest.
lollipops todae. ((:

had my very 1st injection todae.
as in inject on ppl.
not on me.

wah.
so scary can.
i was lyk trembling away la.

insulin.
actuali i tot it was fast acting + short acting.
n best thing is.
i cant rmb which is 1st.
but end up is oni e clear wan lo.

den whn i inject.
i was reali scare la.
scare inject wrongly.
but luckily everything went well.

todae.
went dere.
tym pass damn slow la.
den went fer constipation tok at e health hub.
went back ward.

1 min machiam 1 hr lidat lo.
slow dao bu ke yi.

but aft dinner.
wah.
hectic.
damn damn busy.
non-stop lo.
neva even get to rest.

n its lyk whn i left e ward its almost 9pm.
whn im suppose to leave at 830pm la.
0_0

im so tired.
tired.
tired.
tired.

back pain.
leg suan.
eyes wanna close.
lols!

i lost my 0.01% of hope, chance.
pharmacology result is out.
i failed.
terribly.
15/40.

restest.
1st wk of july.
dunno wad n how im suppose to study fer it.
hais.

attachment todae was pretty slack.
had briefing by e facilitator in e ward.
did half an hr of work.
den went fer break at 1030.
slack until 130.
n of cos work until 4pm la.

in between ms mary talked.
i think she's gud.
she gave us gummies.
no case study.
but dere's hw.
crossword puzzle.
kinda interesting way of making us learn i think.

n we r requesting fer morn shift fer e last dae.
hope its successful.
last dae.
i don wanna work late.
not again.

1) do e following w/o complains.
2) choose 5 ppl to do tis aft u haf complete urs.
3) leave a tag on e person's tagboard to sae he/she has been tag.
4) start ur post w "i haf been tagged!" den do tis.

i haf been tagged! by tee hui xin. THANKS hor. hahas.

favourites.
colour: brown. pink. silver. green.
food: finger food. junk food.
song:
movie: pooh's heffalump movie =p so cute can.
sport: ball games.
dae of e wk: saturdae.
season: winter.
ice cream: cookies n cream.

currents.
mood: pretty low.
taste: my own saliva. lalala.
clothes: shorts n tee.
desktop: my beautiful legs.
toe nail: small n err stil small.
tym: 7.29pm.
surrounding: room swit room.
annoyance: attachment. results. hw. projects.
tots: guys r so diff to understand.

first.
best fren: josephine or was it a guy who name jonathan? hahas. i rmbed he was a nice guy. back in pri 1 & 2 daes.
crush: pri 4 i think? so childish back den. but i miss those daes.
movie: ehh. i don think i got such a gud memory.
lie: think is sae got cca. den go fren hse. haa. =x
music: childhood song. twinkle twinkle little star.

last.
cigarette: neva in my life. it smells.
drink: h20.
car ride: e dae b4 father's dae. frm uncle.
crush: him him n him. actuali i cant rmb. hahas.
movie: she's e man.
phone call: mummy.
cd played: cd is lyk so not "in" alreadi lo. haa. n i don buy cds.

haf u eva.
dated ur best fren: nopes.
broken e law: owning pirated vcds? hahas.
arrested: ima gud ger lo. =p
skinny dipped: wads dat actuali? but i doubt i haf.
on tv: yea. hai you ming tian 2. =))
kiss someone u dunno: who wuld? i wuldn't.

5 things u r wearing: shorts. tee. earring. undergarments. nth alreadi la.
4 things u haf done todae: went fer attachment. came online. eat. took e public transport.
3 things u can hear rite now: e keyboard. e fan. n err my breathing? haa.
1 thing u do whn u r bored: go online.

i feel so isolated.
so unwanted.
by e world.
by ppl ard me.
my 'frens'.
my 'family'.
'u'.
r dey reali all mine?

i feel so lost in tis world.
lost in my own world.

i dunno wads going on.
but tis feeling is becuming stronger as daes goes by.
wad happen?
i reali wan to noe.
wan so much to noe.

ppl r all meeting bf, gf, frens.
w happening lifes.
w happy lifes.
but me?
home alone.
eat alone.

hoping to go hm.
to at least haf my dog to acc me.
fer me to hug.
fer me to tok to.

but even my dog left me alone.
all alone to fend fer myself.

ya.
i admit.
sometimes its me isolating myself frm u all.

but its dat kind of unwanted-ness.
dat makes me take action.
its beta fer me to back out rather dan u all taking e action.

don cum n tel me.
u'll b dere fer me.
im not alone.
ahhh.
i heard enuff.
all tis r jus plain comforting words.

i dunno wads my motivation.
wads my meaning for living.
i see no life in my life.

mayb im reali all alone.
totally alone.
but at least i stil believe.
believe dat i haf myself.
my soul.
to last me thru out my daes ahead.

being bonded means.
- hafing more income.
- increased stress lvl.
- ppl expect more frm u.

e hafing more income seems SOO attractive.
but somehow i don lyk being bonded cos of dat attractive-ness.

i don mind e stress.
cos studying is part n parcel of life.
i don mind ppl expecting more frm me.
cos i expect something frm myself as well.

but for me.
being bonded 4 me doesnt mean more income.
it simply means im self funded.
plus funding others.
in one way or another.

own sch fees.
own text bks.
own notes.
own expenses.
own payment of handphone bills.
wadeva it is.
it is everything dat requires M-O-N-E-Y.

being bonded means rich.
but it doesnt applies to me at all.
in fact i dunno ware all my $ went to.
i reali dunno.

i simply hates it whn my mum got $.
she tends to overspend.
u noe.
she's those dat got no limits.
jus buy n buy.

even if it means using up e whole mth's $.
e word S-A-L-E-S will oways win her over.
i dunno.
n i don understand.

n she's so aunty.
everytym dere's lucky draw.
she sure wans to hit e amt n get dat lucky draw.
she thinks she's so lucky?
oh pls.

using her own $.
i got nth to sae.

but lyk i sae she can use up e mth's $.
n left nth fer e rainy daes.
all she does is depends on me.
cos she noe.
she simply noe dat i wil lend it to her.
i will haf e $.
cos im BONDED.

whn she's got no $.
her source of income wil oways b me.
yes me.

she can go to e mall w/o cash.
n jus grab wadeva she wans.
asking me to pay fer it "1st".
den she wil sae she wil owe me 1st.
ya.
owe.

she jus bought bedsheets dat r worth over $100.
to me i think bedsheet is a must.
but expensive bedsheet is oni a need.
n plus now.
w daddy not working fer at least e last 3 mths.
i dunno.
it makes me mind starts thinking.

r all mothers lidat?
so aunty?
so engross in lucky draws?
so engross in sales?
don dey haf a limit to their spending?
or is it jus my mother?

but i noe.
she mean well.
she wanted to buy fer me.
yes.
jus fer me.
jus fer us.
jus fer e family.

but, sometimes i rather im not bonded.
i rather i had a more tough life.
mayb hafing to work n study.

mayb tis wil let her not take things fer granted.
let her learn to prepare fer e rainny daes ahead.

she don seems to learn her lesson.
i oways told myself not to lend her.
but in e end i oways did.
cos she's my mother.

but wad i cant stand is her doings.
her no limitations.
n lyk wad i sae.
she can jus buy fer u.
thinking dat u've got all e $.
not even caring if u lyk e thing.
she jus buy n demand u to return her e amt of $.

i dunno.
sometyms i cant take it.
i dunno wads running in her mind.

i fear.
fear fer e dae dat i might becum lyk her.
but i told myself tis wun happen.
i wil not let it happen.

tis is oni my part of thinking.
mayb she thinks differently.
its definitely different frm mine.
i can guarantee.

mayb if im not bonded.
not supplied w dat amt of $.
things wuld haf been different.

i wanted to save.
save to return e bank fer my sch fees.
save fer my future.
my daes ahead.
but i see no saving.
oni expenses.
oni $ lent out.
even fer my bro's sch fees.

ya i noe.
dey r my family.
i shldnt bear grudges over all tis.
i noe.
i reali noe.

cal me selfish.
cal me stingy.
but i swear.
a part of me wan dem to learn.
learn to b more independent.
learn to preapre fer their future.
e daes ahead.

dey cant oways depend on me.
fer one dae i might b gone.
gone fereva.

nobody noes.

hi club meeting on closing todae.
1pm.
was a pretty short wan.
jus updates.
tho i haven realli done much yet.

b4 dat wanted to wake up at 10am.
cos meeting dar n xin fer lunch at 115am.
but its lyk e snooze button is so tempting to press.
i did dat fer lyk 40mins?
until whn dar n xin msg me.
telling me dey jus woke up.

i reach jp oni at 1145.
hahas.
had jap food.
didnt finish.
it was too much fer a morning.

aft meeting.
whn c'wealth to mit jie.
n we head to town.

had xxl chicken.
nuggets n wu xiang frm old chang kee.
ice cream w bread.
chicken n meat ball frm tori q.
fries frm ljs.

i think i've put on quite a few pounds frm all e eating.
all thnks to her.
she buy n buy.
den hor end up im e one eating most of it.
hahas.

stil sae wad todae last dae of her exam.
mus celebrate w her.
bth her.
haas.

starting point ps.
ending point far east.
wahh.

jie bought a skirt frm fox.
a shirt frm hula n co.
so rich huh?
hahas.

i bought nth.
oni lots of junk food in my stomach.
lols!

oh yes.
den her fren, song hui came to mit us.
to haf dinner at ljs.
but oni he eat.
n we ate fries.
but i think e both of us add up oso dunno got 10 fries anot lo.
haa.

im full.
full.
full.

walk ard w her fren.
damn farnie la he.
very lame oso.
n kip saeing me.
noe fer less dan 24hrs oni.
jiu kip suan-ing me.
hurs!

1st thing i got home.
mummy ask u to fold clothes hor.
whn mummy cum hm.
ask u fold neva fold.
wth lo.

n lyk she buy things.
den sae wad how much she spend on me.
oways me spending e most.

den sae buy things fer me i stil gif her face.
eh.
pls lo.
if she wan complain den don buy la.
i oso neva ask her buy.

she's lyk oways buy things fer me.
n lyk ask me back for e $.
e things oso not i lyk.
n i neva sae i wan ok.

oso don see her take $ frm my bro whn she buy anything fer dem.
if no $ den don buy la.
nobody force her can.
so damn piss off la.
hais.

jie flying off to thailand tml.
yi lu shun feng.
im gonna miss her.

e world is neva fair.

swimming plan cancelled.
cos hui si sick.
got a fever.
n i heard ashtma attack.

plan to swim lyk on fri or sun.
but tis morn afternoon whn i woke up.
damn.
da yi ma came fer a visit.
meaning.
no more swimming tis hols.
so suay can.
i wan to tannnnnnnnn. =(

badminton plan was oso cancelled.
cos fer some reason.
dey don wan.

so in e end.
had a dae w him.

met 340pm at tiong.
i oni reached oni at 350pm.
but he worst.
reach oni ard 410pm.
4eva late de.
*shake heads*

but as usual.
im late.
he's later.
opps. =x
hahas.

had brunch at tiong.
den saw ginnie.
i miss pri sch daes.

den went chinatown.
find bag fer his ah ma.
den he kip saeing me.
hurhur.
so badddddddd.
found 1 at $5.
so cheap can.

den head to liang court.
he sae wan find things play.
bluff me de.
oso nth play.
hahas.

went marina aft dat.
saw wm at kbox.
but he neva saw me.
tho saw him sian 1/2.
but aiya 4get it.

he bought a jeans.
$19.90 nia.
quite nice on him. =)
i think la.

i declare marina as e coldest shopping centre.
lols!

next destination.
suntec.
had our dinner.
but its lyk 8plus.
cos brunch was pretty late.

board e train at city hall.
n he was lyk.
sae wan to snatch e sits.
so we stand near e door.
aft sat 2 aunty came.
abit diao la.
we sure lose de.
hahas.
but stil manage to get our sits. =p

he pei me take train until clementi.
den sit back.
hahas.

didnt noe ware to go.
but end up going so many places in a dae.
lols!

n i've found a shorter way to take 179.
but walk dere a bit ulu ulu leh.
dark dark de.
hahas.
might reconsider dat route.

mummy bought satay whn we reached hm.
sae mus eat.
so i ate 3.
n yest ate fries at ard 1am lo.
omg!
all those supper.
turning into fats.
lols!

meeting tml.
sians.
but no choice.
aft dat mit jie.
excited!!!
cant wait.
hahas.
i miss her. =p

a dae out w my dar dar. *grins
suppose to b feng dian's outing de lo.
den nette la.
got project.
den xin sae she lazy to step out of her hse.
n ask me n dar to go er ren shi jie ourselves.
hurs!

met dar 2pm at boon lay.
happily take train to city hall.
n looking 4ward to our sakae buffet at marina.
cos it starts at 3pm n ends at 6pm.
b4 we went we were lyk: mus stick our butts dere frm 3pm to 6pm =p

reached city hall pretty early.
so shopped ard.
whn reached marina.
we lost our way lo.
cant find e place.
haa.
went to e wrong lvl.
den reached dere oni at 3.05pm

startrd taking almost everything we see.
ma chiam hungry ghost lo. =x
ard 4pm.
i started to feel e fullness inside my stomach.
reali full.

we stacked up e plate.
wanted to take pic aft eating de lo.
den dat toopid uncle cleared our plates.
but he did ask.
i shld haf said NO!!!
hahas.
wait he think i siao.

dere goes our 12 plates.
den cont eating again.
but culdnt take it anymore.
both of us was so full.
stil sae wan eat until 6pm.
haa.

asked fer our fruits n mochi.
n dat uncle.
wah piangs.
he was lyk sae he culdnt hear us.
n he started almost sitting down to hear us.
we tok so soft meh?
den he was lyk telling us use com.
faster.
diaossssssss.

so we decided to ask another person.
got our fruits n mochi served.
happily finished it w left 3 left over sushi n a fried crab stick.

we squeezed e left over food in between plates.
in e soya sauce.
in e platic cover hide behind e cups.
in e cup of steamed egg + e unwanted green tea frm me.
evil doings =x
i declared my life being shortened.

had a total of 22 plates.
but oni manage to took so plates.
all thnks to dat UNCLE.



e stacked up plates.


yummy? hahas. =p



e left over steam egg + my 'not nice' green tea.


e mess we created. =))

walk ard aft dat.
was bloated la.
saw a puma shirt.
$23 oni.
but even e xs was lyk too big fer me.
e macnufacturer shld haf spared a tot fer ppl lyk me.
so untotful of dem. =p

bought a mango shirt $19.
so did dar.
marina was too cold fer us to cont walking.
so we went to bugis.

took bus 133 dere.
too full to actuali walk.
hahas.

dar wanted to draw $.
den whn we walk to village saw felix.
ask us help him do survey.
n b4 dat we were lyk jus toking bout him lo.
how qiao.
hahas.

den cross traffic light.
saw xue lian n sze min.
tok awhile.
n e other part of e traffic light saw adalene.
tok awhile oso.
hahas.

dat few mins.
met so many ppl.

village.
bought a belt. $12
brown w emboildered *dunno how spell la* flowers. =)
a 3/4 jeans $22.
n 2 ear rings 3 for $5.
dar bought 1.
so its $3.30. =p

dar bought belt oso.
but diff frm mine.
e same 3/4 jeans.
a skirt.
earrings.

im broke fer e tym being.

head back to boon lay.
new interchange.
dar pei me wait til my bus cum.
n my 179 is lyk SOOO far away lo.
i don lyk tis interchange.
make me walk so much.
hur!

n its lyk dere r 2 179.
oso dunno which wan to queue.
den ltr found out e other queue is fer mon to fri 6am-10am.
y cannot use e same lane leh?
don understand leh.
haiyos.
hahas.

me n dar was toking.
she told me not every fren she went out w she got so many things to buy.
ahhh!
its e same fer me.
oni w certain frens.
den u wil lyk reali buy wad u wan.
its so weird eh.
its e feeling ba.

anw,
i enjoyed my dae.
i think i wil stay away frm sakae fer e tym being. =/
n dar.
i've checked la.
its 28 mar.
not 27.
how can u 4get.
make sure u rmb ok. =p
stuck dat date to ur head.
glue it dere.

something unexpected happen yest nite.
something bad.
something dat i don wan.

didnt slept fer e whole nite.
culdnt get to slp.

but for all i noe.
now.
im glad.
glad dat i did not choose not to believe.

i believe in u.
believe in us.

i cant afford to let go.
at tis point of tym.
im not ready to do so.

n im determine to cling on.
for as long as i can.

had hi club outing at west coast yest.
students n instructors bonding.
tho im not a instructor tis sem.
choose not to b cos reali busy.
plus main comm got tons of things to do.

e dae start was not a gud wan.
smth happen.
now i noe.
wad he tot.
hais.

anw
had games.
e ice breaking games was bored.
had a hard tym rmbering their sign names. =/

den we had smth lyk amazing race.
1. lizard
2. smth frm tim
3. undergarments
4. 2 bottle caps
5. 2 cups of ice h20 frm mac
6. todae's newpaper
7. a pair of socks
8. 20 grains of sand

1. took a lizard frm a pamplet.

2. smth frm tim. everyone santch his things le whn our gp went to him. ask him to take off his shirt but he don wan. end up i search his pockets. found his wallet. so i took n go. told him wil return him ltr. hahas. so smart of me. =)

3. i suggest asking e guy frm my gp to go toilet, take off his pants n take a pic of his undergarment. wah. n he very on lehs. neva expect him to reali go take. so err. brave?

4-8. all tis was simple. =)

but we r e last gp to take e clue.
somemore we went to e wrong place ehs.
cos didi said area 4.
so we i tot pit 4.
we went dere but cant find.

den jm called n ask ware r we.
he said he's alreadi at e place but neva see us.
den i told him ware we r.
den he diaos.
hahas.
all thnx to me la huh.
but we wasnt e last to complete e thing =)

aft resting awhile.
we had games at e play ground.
cules were in printed sign language alphabets.

e flying fox.
is so scary la.
its so high n alot of us culdnt get up.
den e guys let us step. =p

whn its me.
hao ke pa orh.
whn i reach e other end.
i dae not cum down.
i practically hug on to e thing n don wan cum down.
haas.
den wilson carry me down.
lols!
thnks wilson.
or i think i wil b stuck dere 4eva.

aft dat climb spider pyramid.
wooo~
so cool.
climb rite up to e top.
n take pics.
n i told everyone.
nxt life i wun wan to b a money.
cos money can haf a tough life climbing too. =p

had bbq aft dat.
didnt eat much.
cos e students were eating.
den we took some pic.
n a small bdae celebration fer nuzurul oso.











nuzurul's flour-ed face.











e ever crazy instructors.

den we had our cheer.
ours is lyk so lame.
but i lyk it. ((:
our gp consist of instrctors n 2 students.

aft which play true or dare.
den ard 10pm almost everyone left le.
left all e instructors n 1 student.
we had gud food aft dat.
hahas.

left e place oni at 130am.
reach hm at 215am.
phews`
so tired.
woke up oni at 2pm todae.

den went bugis to haf steamboat.
pre celebration fer father's dae.
w grandparents n relative.
den go walk walk n suntec jiu go hm le.

all tis runnin, exercising, fun came w a price.
im aching all over now.
even in e butt.
damn.

putting an act in front of others is no not fun.
so not e real me.
so not gud.
acting to b happy whn im not.
acting to b enjoying whn im not.
hais.

i don understand guys.
i don understand u.

i felt so lost.
wad can i sae?
wad can i do?

i felt so useless.
so helpless.
so outcasted.
so down.
so hurt.
so i dunno wad.
hais.

shld i continue to believe?
can i?
but . . . . . . . .

the future holds unknown.
the uncertainties lies within.

papa n mama went genting.
leaving e 3 of us back in spore.
luckily we r independent enuff.
hahas. =p

dat ah di ar.
mama not at hm.
he jiu play com almost 24hrs lo.
bth him.
he sae mus use dao gou.
if not ltr mama cum back jiu wil nag le.
lols.

den dat ah kor ar.
mama not at hm.
yest n todae.
his gf oso come our hse.
fer almost whole dae.
den rite now.
his frens r at our hse oso.
playing mahjong n watching soccer.

i think i most guai le.
muahahas. =p

yest whn ah kor's gf came.
i jus woke up.
head str to e bathrm to bath.
den realise.
i wearing e same shirt as ah kor's gf lo.

dat shirt dat tym taka.
dunno buy how much den got free de.
winnie e pooh wan.
kor working dere.
so he took back.

at least.
tis assured me.
dat i've got a gud bro.
i knew dat all along.
n i believe dat he is.

happy dat he didnt take fer his gf.
n not fer me.
he took it fer both.
=))

todae.
met him.
happy happy happy happy 4th mth. ((:

pei him go nokia care centre to svc his fone.
den had our lunch.

think i ate alot todae eh.
had kfc in e aftnoon.
den jap food in e nites.
had been some tym i ate so much.
haa.

aft dat went walk walk at far east.
i kind of love looking at how he search fer smth.
smth dat most guys wuld dread doing.
thru out i was lyk giggling away.
i enjoy e process. =p
dumb dumb.

we den went to watch she's e man.
a pretty farnie movie.
she's so motivated in doing e things she wans.
even if it means hafing to act as a boi.
n she found her prince in e end. *_*

receive a pair of earring.
a braclet.
n a earring.
e other half of e earring is w ang ang ang.













tis is ang ang ang.
cute isnt it?
hees.

tis road is not an easy wan to walk.
dere's stil a long way ahead.
n i believe.
believe dat i shld continue to walk.
n complete it.
don make me stop.

i think im getting smarter.
n more independent.
dats so much of a gud news ehs?
haa`

i noe how to take train.
to cck.
n take e lrt to bukit banjang.

i noe how to take bus num 700.
frm bukit panjang to orchard.

i noe how to take bus num 124.
from orchard to chinatown.

so smart isnt it?
i took it all alone.
w/o any1(s) help.
im not a dumb dumb anymore. ((:

mit him at chinatown.
had our dinner.
pei him go change $ fer his ah ma.
n buy feather duster for his ah ma.

went separate ways aft dat.
he went hm to gif his ah ma e things.
cos he've got smth in e nite.
hmmm.
ya.

den me.
den don feel lyk going home yet.
want to haf some quality tym to myself.
fer some reason.
i wanted to b alone.

but stil i landed back at boon lay.
went to e lib.
cos haven been dere b4 yet.
went until e lib was bout to close.
lols!

had a strong urge to walk home.
but im not brave enuff.
realise dat i've grown smart a little.
but im not dat smart aft all.
afraid i might lose my way.

but i jus wanted to walk.
walk n walk.
alone.
continue walking fer e rest of my life.
e whole journey.

until whn im reali reali tired.
perhaps collaspe on e floor.
n marks e end of my life.

aft all.
i still took a bus home.

im reali tempted.
to go n watch a movie.
all by myself.

forget it.
i heard it twice todae.
n it hurts.

even tho things don oways go my way.
im trying hard to perceive it differently.
from another point of view.
to make myself contended.
yes.
dat shld b it.
=)

common test r finally over.
yipees.
2 wks of hols.
den 2 wks of attachment.
yes.
NUH again.
im w serene.
same ward.
same shift.
n oso w ms mary as e clinical facilitator.
dat makes me look kinda 4ward to attachment. =)

had IE challege early in e morn todae.
we were e helpers.
2 cca points.
free drinks.
free t shirt.
whees~
ended quite early.
so went fer my meetings.

had 2 meeting.
closing ceremony meeting.
outing meeting (16.06.06)
had everything kind of settled.
roles assign n everything.
now jus hope everything runs smooth.

aft meeting.
dar, xin, nette, ada, tinghui, jm, ky, celica, tim n me.
we went suntec to eat pastamania.
was so hungry.
cos we oni had our lunch at 3pm+ la.
i had baked rice.
was super full aft dat.
yumsss`

went arcarde.
seems lyk hi club oways aft we eat mus go arcarde wan leh.
dunno y.
hahas.
n oso mus play photohunt wan eh.
think dats ho club's fav game le.
lols.

spend quite alot of tym dere.
see see look look.
den catch sweets oso.

so x la.
cos its lyk $1 /game.
den think dey played quite alot of tym n we oni got dat amt of sweets.
pathetic.
haas.

den on e way hm.
me, xin, nette n jm took e same train.
tim took e red line.
dar went to mit her mama.

ok.
zhong dian.
e 4 of us toking n crapping in e train.
den hor.
i think mayb i was ABIT loud la.

dere's tis aunty lady.
whn she was bout to alight.
she cut in between e 4 of us.
den came n told me.

ni jiang hua ke yi xiao shen yi dian ma.
ni jiang hua zhen de hen da shen.
hui chao dao bie ren de.
translated:
u talk can softer abit anot.
u tok reali very loud.
wil disturb other ppl.

wadeva lo.
as if e train is hers.
oso not her hse.
oso no rule sae no restriction to e vol of voice whn u r toking.

at dat point of tym.
1. feel abit pai seh la. cos i think alot of ppl looking den she told me dat.
2. huh. i reali tok very loud ar? how how how?
3. its my mouth dat im using to tok w. who cares a damn whether u think its loud anot.

i reali din meant to tok so loud de lo.
jus dat whn im excited.
den ya.
jiu tend to tok abit louder than usual oni ma.
hurs!

who don tune up a little whn dey get all excited rite?
who don bcum high whn dey r excited?
i think everyone oso wil de lo.
somemore w dat one gp of my crazy frens.
how am i supposed to control myself?
hahas.

but hey.
if i wanna kip silent.
is a no problem thing ok.

actuali i think it depends on who im w.
my mood fer e dae.
n whether i feel lyk toking anot.
all tis play a part in e so called loudness la huh.
hahas.

sometyms i reali can zi bi fer e whole dae wan lo.
n i mean reali very quiet dat kind.
don tok amost at all kind.
dere's oso tym whn i can luff e whole dae.
mayb pms la huh.
mood swing.
opps. =x

dat aunty is so unkind.
she dunno wads cal entertainment ehs.
FOC lo.
wad she expects?
hahas.

ok.
enuff of dat lady.
not very keen to continue bout her. =p

but who cares la huh.
i stil wanna b myself.
wad i am.
but mayb err.
control a little la.
provided if i can make it.
as in able to control.
hahahas.

reach hm watch lui guang shen ling.
pretty nice.
alreadi finish episode 3 le.

sleepless nites frm e studying last wk.
panda eyes r getting more obvious.
eek!

im in nid of rest.
in nid of slps.
i cant take it anymore.
my eyelids r falling.
im gonna slp til e sun shines on my buttock b4 i can up.
hahas.

-_-_-_-_-_-brain shutting down in progress-_-_-_-_-_-

pharmacolgy paper todae was a GONE CASE.
i reali dunno how to do.
n im 99.99% sure im gonna fail.
hais.
left w 0.01% of hope, chance.

nth has gone into my head YET.
e rest of e daes wil b memorising n more memorising.
probably til my head grow bigger.
lols!

if oni i've got an extra brain.
i can store more info needed fer e exams.

if oni i haf e num 8th dae wish cuming true.
i wil haf more tym to prepare fer my papers.

if oni i haf a tym machine.
i wil b able to remain young n dere wun b a nid fer exams.

if oni i haf a super look alike twin.
i nid not appear in e exam hall. my twin wil do it fer me.

if oni papers r invisible.
i can den bring my notes into e exam hall.

if oni e papers were as easy as abc.
i wun haf to mug so hard fer dem.

if oni dere's no such thing as school.
i wun haf to go to sch, attend lesson n haf my exams taken.

if oni.
hahas.
stop dreaming man.
wake up.

n i reali shld b doing smth constructive.
in e next 15 mins.
at least ok.
go to slp if my brain refuse to absorb any info.

happy mugging.
>.<

im gonna make use of tis whole wk to do constructive stuffs.
yes.
mug.
study.
lyk crazy.

finish wad im suppose to learn.
squeeze eveything into dat tiny little brain.
killing all those innocents brain cells.

grandpa n uncle n mama's aunty came todae.
to c grandma.

oh ya.
i didnt mentioned.
grandma stayed over at my place.
fer lyk almost 5 daes alreadi?
yea.

master bed rm goes to her.
n papa n mama gotta squeeze w me in my rm.
i pretty love it.
kind of cosy. (:

played w ah ger n mei mei.
dey so cute la.
draw things on paper fer me.
den stil hug hug me b4 dey went hm.

rmb how dey actuali cry in e past whn we haf to go seperate ways.
now dat both r more grown up.
more sensible le ba.
tho oni 5 n 8 yrs old. =p

i think im hungry.
err.
. . .
lols!

i hate exams!

life is a struggle.

i don understand.
stil don understand.
oways don understand.
perhaps wil neva understand it in the journey of my life.

=(