9.09.2007
ED posting has come to an end.despite the little complains that we got, i somehow still like ED.
but definately not CE.
not that i dont like it.
reason being i cant afford to see children get real sick.
it pains me totally.
the last day at ED was an eye opener.
and it proves very very much that there's no way i can work in CE.
i was in pac 1 on that very last day.
there was this stand by case of drowning + fits in the water - 11y.o boy.
dad did CPR on him when there's no sign of breathing upon bringing him up from the water.
and they took like 20mins to reach the A&E.
so we standby and receive the case.
when the ETT was put into him.
when the needle prick through his tiny little finger.
when the huge pair of hands did CPR on that tiny little body of his.
when the ECG shows asystole after adrenaline, atropine, normal saline, sodium bicarbonate and everything that could be done.
when you see the look of innocence in that little child.
when you see the small fingers of his turning cyanotic - blue.
when everything didnt help to revive him aft 30mins of trying.
it was ultra sadness and torture.
i look so hard on the ECG machine that when the sister calls me, i was in daze.
i was lost until shamini tap me on my shoulder and told me that the sister was calling me.
i tried very hard to fight back tears.
yes, i cried.
very very unprofessional i know.
but i couldnt help it.
it wasnt flooding kind of crying though.
just droping of tears.
but the others kept asking if i was ok.
guess i look
the heartache.
the thought of his parents losing him.
the way the parents will react when they knew about it.
it was a little too much for me to take.
the boy has history of fits.
but just because he hasnt had it for quite some time, his dad brought him to the swimming pool.
its not his dad's fault definately.
i just wanna emphasize that when something doesnt happen for some time, doesnt mean that it wont happen again. dont try your luck in cases which involves life and death. its not a good bet. never.
i kind of got over the incident already after everything that boyf told me.
and he's right.
i still got lots and lots to learn.
there bound to be sadness but as a nurse, must learn how to control my emotions.
cannot be so easily affected by incidents like this.
alrights.
enough of sad stuffs.
friday night was out with boyf.
accompanied him to bugis to get some stuffs.
and we watched ratatouille.
not bad, can go watch!
saturday morning went to work at bottle tree park.
i love the park eh.
very nice place to visit.
then accompanied mum to change her hp.
and we shopped around orcahrd.
until its time for home.
and today.
i finally paid some of my sleep debt and had sufficient sleep.
folded all the clothes and it took me more than an hour.
packed my room and it looks so much neater now.
but i bet its gonna be back to square one again in like few weeks time.
and and mop the floor.
been long since i do so much household chores.
gotta read up some OT stuffs and get my objectives done.
and OT posting will start tomorrow!
looking very forward to it.
hope i get to scrub in for lots of cases.
u are the reason behind my smiles.
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